Be Seen, Not Heard

Why is it that we, as humans, find so many faults with ourselves?  Is it the media?  Our parents?  School?  Work?  I honestly think it goes back to the old "Be Seen, Not Heard" mentality. With that mentality and way of being, there is never a sense of being secure in who you are because you are never valued.  You are on display, to be adorned, adored and then put back up on a shelf. Perhaps, if not so blatantly dismissive, you were raised more like how some feel about their animals...there to glorify them rather than to be loved and be a part of the family as a whole.

This past year has seen many changes in my family.  Family members have left due to circumstances beyond our control, this is our third home in less than 12 months, we added a dog to our family, we moved over 150 miles away from our support base and most importantly, we removed my daughters from school.  It has been a year of trying on different ways of being: "in the box", out of the box, half in the box and then deciding that a box wasn't even what we should be trying but instead something more akin to a circle would be best or maybe an overlapping spiral.  Child-led learning, or "Unschooling" has been the biggest change in our lives, and for the best.

To be perfectly honest, I still feel frightened when I think of a life without a curriculum. There is "safety" in a curriculum.  Boredom and listlessness, but "safety" of the known.  Sometimes the bogyman comes and raises his head and says things like: "How will they get ahead in life if they don't read Catcher in the Rye" or "What  what are they learning?" I believe that goes back to the "Be Seen, Not Heard" mentality. 

On a personal level, in school, my interests didn't matter.  My skill set didn't matter.  It didn't matter that I could debate with the best of them, point out inconsistencies and type 100 wpm.  What mattered was whether or not I could adhere to their way of wanting something completed.   I'll never forget I had to take English Grammar three times because I'd failed it.  I didn't fail because I didn't know the work, but because I felt it was more exciting to show the teacher I knew how to truly use the vocabulary words properly in a well written poem than in filling in her stupid blanks.  I failed every vocabulary test I ever took with that teacher because I refused to fill in her blanks.  How stupid, I thought, to fill in a blank.  Why should my life be full of filling other people's blanks? 

I never finished college.  I decided to go off to Hong Kong to work, rather than graduate.  I've owned four businesses.  I've dined with celebrities.  I've had well known business moguls on my speed dial.  I've had stand up ovations after some lectures and sales pitches I've given.  I have a book contract with a well known company, who is just waiting for the economy to turn around so they can pay me. :)

 Did school teach me any of this? NO! Did school teach me anything other than I was worthless?  NO! I have figured out what I needed to know by teaching myself.  By doing the research required to figure out what I needed.  I can now write an 80 page business proposal, complete with financials, and have it approved by a bank and angel investors. I have come to realize that real life experience and the need to learn something turns into desire when the interest is there. 

So, if my daughter's never want to read Catcher in the Rye, then so be it.  Let them be seen, let them be heard, and let them follow their own passions. I don't know where that will lead, but so what?  Life is an adventure. Grab onto it with both hands and go for the ride.  You never know who you'll become on the way!