Help! There's a 3 Headed Monster In Our Life!

I've been wondering what to post for the past three weeks.  It's been a hard three weeks, to be honest. Three weeks ago, we adopted a new puppy. Yes, this would seem very exciting and it was, for about 72 hours. Then the gravity of what we did hit me.  No longer are we free to come and go as we wish. Our eight year old dog was having to put up with a hyper puppy. I was cleaning pee off the floors and steam cleaning the floors more than I was enjoying life. Now, three weeks later, he is almost fully house trained but now is chewing everything in site and anything that was on my floors is now on every available open raised surface. Some Barbie's hands have suffered at his teeth.

But that is not my challenge anymore.  I have a bigger one: A 3 Headed Monster

For years, Honey Bunny has suffered from depression and mood swings. She has always been uncomfortable in social situation and I have always been her biggest advocate.  Two weeks ago, we took a 14 hour journey to an excellent psychiatric hospital in Connecticut because she came to me saying she needed help for her anorexia and suicidal thoughts, again. This is our third trip to an inpatient hospital and by now I know the ropes.

I know what to look for, which one I want and why. I know the questions to ask, how long an intake will last, what the week will be like, what to expect during the week, what to expect after we leave. Truthfully, I am tired of it. I am emotionally tired. I am physically tired. I am saddened. I am heart broken.

You see, this time, the doctor's actually listened to me. They took the time to sit with me and truly listen. It was no longer situational which set Honey Bunny off. We aren't uprooting again. We aren't changing life situations like we were with the past two hospitalizations. This time, we are stable and this is real. Honey Bunny has Bipolar 2 and Aspergers as well as Anorexia.  Our three headed monster.

Let that sink in for a moment. My child, who I have always known had these issues and have been fighting for someone to help us see the light, has finally been correctly diagnosed, at least for now. *Big sigh*  You see, even when we get what we want and suspect, it doesn't make the child change.

Yes, she will now get the correct medications. Yes, we will now get different and better support as a family when it comes to counseling. Yes, everything that has happened in the past makes better sense.

BUT....

And yes, there is a but, IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING.

Honey Bunny is still one of the most talented, creative, amazing young women I have ever had the pleasure to meeting. Honey Bunny is still going to suffer from more horrific depression that most. She is right now. Her boyfriend broke up with her on Sunday and although her recovery was going very well, she has now slid back into the blackness where every movement and every action is like crawling through cement.  It takes every effort for her to breathe. She's doing as well as she can be expected considering how much she loves him, and the new medications are helping, but she is still hurting. Medication doesn't take away pain and loss.

We fell into Unschooling because Honey Bunny needed a different kind of life. She needs routines and schedules, but those SHE picks. She needs consistency and dependability, but on HER terms. Unschooling a child with mental illness is far more gentle than what I have read being recommended.  I am not going to be a bitch. I am not going to demean, demoralize or diminish my child just because she has these other challenges.

Attachement Parenting and Unschooling allow Honey Bunny the ability to be loved WITH her challenges. It allows for us to be honest with one another. I stayed up all night with her on Sunday, holding her, because that is the relationship we have BECAUSE of AP (Attachment Parenting) and US (Unschooling). She comes to me and we are IN relationship WITH one another.

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store and bought all the breakup food I could think of: chips, popcorn, chocolate, CheeseDoodles, ice cream, yogurt (her favorite) and when I got home, hubby had already called out of work for the day so he could be with Boo Bear, and Honey Bunny and I sat on her bed, in our pi's eating CheeseDoodles and watching a very inappropriate movie, laughing our butts off. For a moment, her pain had lessened. Why? Because we don't have that "Me, parent. You, child" crap going on. We are friends.

Yes. I am friends with my children. And what does a friend do when another is hurting due to a breakup? They hold them, they listen, they cry and hold tissues, they buy junk food and eat it with them while watching stupid inappropriate movies. Why? Because you love them.

So, what will these Monsters called Bipolar 2, Aspergers, and Anorexia do to our family? Nothing that they haven't already done: call us to her side for action when needed.