10 Things I Wish I'd Known



As 2014 comes to a close, we all tend to become rather nostalgic and think about the past and what we want to change for the next year. I've had Honey Bunny home since 2010 and have been thinking about how far we've come; from a young middle schooler to at the middle of her junior in high school. Here's what I wish I'd known entering into the realm of life learning and home education:

1) There Is Only One Way Home Education Works. Yep, you read that right. It's the way that works for YOUR child! After years of trial and error, we discovered Honey Bunny requires structured learning and assignments. Boo Bear? Open ended and free flowing learning. Both are on opposite ends of the learning spectrum and both are learning a ton!

2) Keeping Doubters In The Loop Is Important. Remember, it is their fear that motivates them. Try creating a daily log update, or a weekly update, something that is encouraging and shows the learning. With Boo Bear, when my in-laws didn't quite understand why we were educating her at home, and without a curriculum, I made sure to take pictures every day and at the end of the month create a slideshow presentation showing her progress in all subjects. They loved that they had an update on their granddaughter and could see her learning subjects more in depth than school and it gave them something to brag about at luncheons. For me, it showed a progress of learning which felt good to look back upon.

3) Prepare Yourself For Spontaneous Learning. Sounds like an oxymoron, huh? Here's an example: when going to the playground, I look up physics terms and explanations. I focus on only one or two because truthfully, I never took physics and my memory for it won't be grand. While we are there, I introduce the concept, the vocabulary and the explanation - all while having fun. We also do an SAT word of the week. So Boo Bear, who is 7, has a full vocabulary of large SAT words at her disposal in her conversations.  If everything is learning, then learning is everything.

4) Keep Your Priorities Straight! For some, that is keeping everything organized, for others it's making sure you enjoy the beautiful weather and allow the dust to gather for a rainy day, for another it is keeping up on the latest gaming updates. Remember to check in with yourself and your kids on a daily basis. Priorities change daily. Ask yourself and your kids what your daily goal is and check in at  night to see if it was accomplished. If it wasn't, did something happen to usurp that priority? Did it change? Why didn't it happen and what could be done differently next to for it to be accomplished? Use small opportunities like that to introduce the concept of priority planning. It is a life long skill needed for almost every aspect of life, from bills to vacations.

5) You Won't Feel Qualified and You Will Doubt Yourself.  Yep. It's going to happen. You may be curriculum. You will try things on and take them off.  You will wake up in the middle of the night and think: "OMG! What am I doing?!!!" and fret all night long. That's pretty normal. Forgive yourself and move on. If you are feeling that way, and if you keep a log, go back and look over it. That helps me. I keep a log of things completed each day because it makes me feel better. I grew up in a home/society that placed high value on education and higher education. I'm stepping off that treadmill because it doesn't work for my girls, but the old tapes sometimes come and bite me in the butt. The logs are for me and my sanity. (I like The Well Planned Day the best. It has 4 lines per day, per subject=lots of room for my girly handwriting.)

6) The Heart Of Your Child Will Direct You. This doesn't mean that they will always know what they want. When they first come home, if public schooled, they will be lost and irritable and confused. They will watch tv, disinvest and sleep a lot. Then, over time, their interests will arise. Boo Bear, who's never been to school, has no idea what she "isn't supposed to do" and loves science. She is 7 and working on high school freshman science concepts. She can't read well yet, so I read it to her, but her ability to absorb the concepts is there. Honey Bunny loves artistic expression. She does a ton of art work every week. She volunteers at an art studio. She is directed by her love for artist expression from blue hair and gauged ears to photography and watercolor. Each child is different and we use those differences to expand their world of knowledge.

7)The Habit Of Listening. Listening isn't done just with your ears. Listening is also done with the eyes. Reading body language. Listening to the unsaid word. Learning how to read body language is very important. I specialized in sales in my prior life and had to learn how to read body language in order to actually hear what was going on with a potential client. I use that same skill set with my children and husband. Arms crossed? They feel defensive. Voice changing in pitch? They may be lying (or going through puberty). Learn to read your child. You will be able to listen more and be in the moment with them.

8) It's A Lifetime of Learning.  Learning isn't just done when you finish a book. Maybe your child doesn't want to finish a book you loved. Honey Bunny hated Lord of the Flies and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe. I loved both. I had hoped to share them with her. Wasn't her thing. Instead, she changed books, introduced me to some she loved and my world was expanded into a new genre of vampires and magic. Take each opportunity presented to you and learn from it. Keep your curiosity going! Lifetime learning has a benefit for all.

9) Blessing Of Time.  The greatest part of home learning for us is that it can happen at any time of the day! It's a beautiful day out, we spend it outside exploring our world. It's rainy? Let's watch documentaries and snuggle. It's 10pm and suddenly Boo Bear has an urge to do abacus math? Great! It's midnight and Honey Bunny suddenly has an inspiration to write a story? Great! Time is our friend, not our enemy. There is no learning time because it's all the time.

10) Family Unity: This one can take some time to come into it's own. It ebbs and flows in our home. Sometimes, Hubby feels on the outside because we girls spend SO much time together and he's more like a visitor in our world than a pillar. That's hard for him sometimes. Othertimes, our family unit is stronger because we do spend so much time together. Our communication is stronger. We know all the nuances which occur between one and other and can shift and adjust on the fly. Being together 24/7 can be a challenge. It requires dedication to open communication, honesty and vulnerability. In the end, it's worth it but it can be scary getting there.

Overall, since 2010, I feel learning at home, at all hours, has worked best for us. It's not for everyone and that's okay. The glorious thing about the U.S.A. is we have a choice to homeschool or not. Places like Germany, there is no choice. It is not allowed.

There will be good days and there will be bad. There will be days you jump up and down and exclaim: "They got it!" and there will be days you shake your head and wonder: "Will they ever get it?!"  In the end, they balance out.

My best advice, dear Reader, is follow your gut and follow your heart. Let those lead you down a new path, one customized just for you and your family. Read all you want. Research all you want if that makes you feel better. Enjoy YOUR education and lifetime learning experience. You see, lifetime learning isn't just for kids anymore...it's for everyone once you step off that edge and go for it.

(Don't forget to join my blog! It's a little button over there to your right! I don't get paid for it, just want to share with you rather than announce on FB all the time.  Pass it on if you life it!)

Comments

  1. Love this! I'm just starting my unschooling journey with my kids, but I already know it's the best decision for us. Thanks for sharing your story!

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    1. That's great!!! I hope you enjoy the ups and the downs as you find out what works best for all of you. Happy Holidays!!!

      Please feel free to follow along our journey, too. I have a 7 yr old and a 16 yr old.

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  2. Thank you for this! We started homeschooling this year without a curriculum, but not the un schooling approach. Although my first grader is doing many things at the third grade level, I question myslef every day. I am looking forward to the un schooling approach his January as I hope it to reignite his passion for learning.

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