ISO Married White Female
ISO married white female, preferably one close to my size with a great fashion sense. Must like kids, dogs and cooking - all while looking impeccable. Must know how to do laundry, cook, clean, walk dogs, talk to teens and talk to younger kids while embracing the 1950's Leave It To Beaver attitude.
Who wants this woman? Who wants the "perfect" woman? Raise your hand if you want your own wife (or clone)? Man, I would LOVE another me around. Another me who does the household stuff. Laundry, dishes and floor cleaning is so boring and takes time out of my day which I'd rather be doing other stuff. I'd like another me who also does the bills. I hate doing the bills. I hate working with numbers. I'd like a me who does all the mundane things and while we're at it, one who can help recharge me. That's right: I'd like to be able to plug myself in and recharge.
Raise your hand if you are burnt out? Oh, I don't see too many people being honest here. You're telling me you have it all together? You do a great job balancing life and homeschooling and marriage? Really? Well then, I want YOU as my wife! But, if you are being honest chances are you feel like you are failing in at least one area. Maybe you think you aren't a fun enough parent. Maybe you feel like your house isn't clean enough. Maybe you feel like you suck at handling the finances. Maybe you are just plain old dead tired and just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
Reader, please do yourself a favor. Stop thinking you need to be SuperMom! Being a "good enough" parent is truly okay. It is okay not to be Martha Stewart (trust me, I used to live down the street from her, she isn't very nice-I could hear her yelling at her staff .25 miles away). It's okay if you aren't the live entertainment act every moment of every day for your children and your spouse. It's okay if you aren't Cesar Milan, able to walk 20 dogs at once and you struggle to get a few kids in tow across the parking lot.
Giving yourself permission to be "good enough" is important. Your children won't remember all the things you did for them: gave them a clean house, gourmet meals, brand new clothes, a perfect party. They WILL remember how you made them feel.
Did you feel burnt out? Did you feel that keeping a clean house was more important to you than being with them? Did they feel that school work took importance over who they are as a person? Did you make them guilty of burning you out?
That's what they will remember.
Take time for yourself. I know it's hard. Trust me, I know it's hard. But if you are always putting everyone else's needs above your own, you will get burnt out and resentful. You won't enjoy them anymore. You won't enjoy you anymore. I'm not talking about going on a vacation by yourself (which although that sounds glamours and wonderful at times, I'm sure I'd miss my kiddos an hour into it). I'm talking about little things: going to the bathroom by yourself, eating a cupcake all by yourself and to yourself. I'm talking about talking to some friends who get it - even if it's 1am and you are both texting because you just put the baby to bed...again..and they are suffering from insomnia.
Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for what you need. Scared of rejection? Sure. We all are. BUT-if we have authentic friends and are authentic with ourselves, they will do all they can to be that "other wife" and help you be a "good enough" parent.
Start today. Go for it. Pick up your phone. Call someone. Text someone. Tell them you need help being a "good enough" parent. Chances are, they do too.
Who wants this woman? Who wants the "perfect" woman? Raise your hand if you want your own wife (or clone)? Man, I would LOVE another me around. Another me who does the household stuff. Laundry, dishes and floor cleaning is so boring and takes time out of my day which I'd rather be doing other stuff. I'd like another me who also does the bills. I hate doing the bills. I hate working with numbers. I'd like a me who does all the mundane things and while we're at it, one who can help recharge me. That's right: I'd like to be able to plug myself in and recharge.
Raise your hand if you are burnt out? Oh, I don't see too many people being honest here. You're telling me you have it all together? You do a great job balancing life and homeschooling and marriage? Really? Well then, I want YOU as my wife! But, if you are being honest chances are you feel like you are failing in at least one area. Maybe you think you aren't a fun enough parent. Maybe you feel like your house isn't clean enough. Maybe you feel like you suck at handling the finances. Maybe you are just plain old dead tired and just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
Reader, please do yourself a favor. Stop thinking you need to be SuperMom! Being a "good enough" parent is truly okay. It is okay not to be Martha Stewart (trust me, I used to live down the street from her, she isn't very nice-I could hear her yelling at her staff .25 miles away). It's okay if you aren't the live entertainment act every moment of every day for your children and your spouse. It's okay if you aren't Cesar Milan, able to walk 20 dogs at once and you struggle to get a few kids in tow across the parking lot.
Giving yourself permission to be "good enough" is important. Your children won't remember all the things you did for them: gave them a clean house, gourmet meals, brand new clothes, a perfect party. They WILL remember how you made them feel.
Did you feel burnt out? Did you feel that keeping a clean house was more important to you than being with them? Did they feel that school work took importance over who they are as a person? Did you make them guilty of burning you out?
That's what they will remember.
Take time for yourself. I know it's hard. Trust me, I know it's hard. But if you are always putting everyone else's needs above your own, you will get burnt out and resentful. You won't enjoy them anymore. You won't enjoy you anymore. I'm not talking about going on a vacation by yourself (which although that sounds glamours and wonderful at times, I'm sure I'd miss my kiddos an hour into it). I'm talking about little things: going to the bathroom by yourself, eating a cupcake all by yourself and to yourself. I'm talking about talking to some friends who get it - even if it's 1am and you are both texting because you just put the baby to bed...again..and they are suffering from insomnia.
Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for what you need. Scared of rejection? Sure. We all are. BUT-if we have authentic friends and are authentic with ourselves, they will do all they can to be that "other wife" and help you be a "good enough" parent.
Start today. Go for it. Pick up your phone. Call someone. Text someone. Tell them you need help being a "good enough" parent. Chances are, they do too.
Comments
Post a Comment