What if You've Been Told a Lie Your Entire Life?!

I ran into a friend at the library last night.  Boo Bear was in her American Doll Girl Club, learning about history in the 1800's. This particular friend has a daughter a year younger than Boo Bear and the two girls are friends. She goes to private school and is in the first grade. The Mom was in tears over the amount of homework her little girl has. I encouraged the little girl to go get her homework and we'd work on it together. Sitting there, in the chair, this very hyper little girl became sad. She was on the verge of tears as she tried to read, write and do what the worksheet wanted her to do. It broke my heart. I would take her and save the family tons of private school tuition but her Dad wants her to stay in the school where she is miserable, at age 6. She is already being beaten down by the system and isn't being encouraged to be her happy and hyper little self. My soul cries for her.

When that was over, I asked her if she'd like to come grocery shopping with us and then have dinner with us. She jumped at it. I had the best two helpers a Momma could ask for! They read my list, went running to get my items and took turns either gathering the item or if it was too heavy (bag of potatoes for example) they carried it together and took turns lowering it into the cart. One would clear the way in the cart, the other would lower it down. They did this without being asked. They worked together without being asked. It was beautiful.

Back tracking, though, the Mom and I also discussed food. Makes sense as I have a shopping list and she commented, surprised, that I have one. In their home, the husband does the shopping but doesn't ask her opinion on what they want and only buys them processed foods. She is tired after working all day and dealing with all 3 kids on her own (6, 13 and 17). I began to talk about crockpot recipes and easy recipes she could whip up in under 20 minutes, the time it takes to make a frozen pizza. She was in shock. She didn't know you could do healthy food in such a short period of time. (For those of you who don't know, I used to own a gluten-free bakery and I have a few Facebook pages dedicated to my cooking: vegan recipes because I can't do dairy, as well as my gluten free cooking and one actual URL for my GF business. Ask in the comments for the address and I'll happily leave them.)

This got me to thinking: What area of your life does not need to be the way you think it has to be?

For the Mom above, it was cooking. It doesn't have to be complicated or take a lot of time. It can be scrambled eggs with ham on top of a piece of bread with cheese on top melted under the broiler with a thing of bagged salad on the side and dressing. Wham bam. Done in 10 minutes and on the table. It's a full meal. Protein, dairy, carb and veggie. Can't get much easier than that. 

For another Mom I met yesterday at the park, it was thinking about homeschooling. We've met before a few times at Park Day. She has a 5 year old, 3 year old and newborn. She always comments at how happy Boo Bear is. She is genuinely happy. You can see it when you meet her. Everyone says that. They even say it about Honey Bunny, but she is a teen who has moods. :)  This Mom said she loves the idea of unschooling but is afraid of what people will ask her. She's afraid she won't know how to answer. She's afraid of what others will think. 

What if she didn't think she had to be afraid? What if she didn't think she had to do public school at home? I answered her the following way: 

Me:"What questions are you afraid of?"
Her: "How do you know they are learning?"
Me:"How did you know they could crawl?"
Her: "They did it."
Me: "How did you know they could walk?"
Her: "They did it."
Me: "How did you know they could talk?"
Her: "They did it."
Me: "Are you seeing a pattern here?"
Her: "YES!"
Me: "Did you help your little one learn how to walk by holding their arms up?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Did you help your little ones learn how to talk by talking with them?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Do you think this encouraging stops just because you are unschooling?"
Her: "No?"
Me: "No. I encourage my children to learn. I help them. I talk with them. I let them steer me toward what they want/need to learn."

Now, let's take this on. How will they learn? Well, this week alone (it is only Wednesday morning and both girls are still sleeping at 8:04 am) Boo Bear has done the following: 

Monday we made crustless quiche. She did all the measuring. That's math. We discussed the chemical reaction inside the oven with the egg that causes it to bind. That's science. We hung up original artwork of her sister's. That's geometry as well as learning to use a level and a ruler. She taught herself to sew while I took a bath because I was cranky. That's home ec. She wrote a short story. That's English. We discussed WWII and the geography of Europe. That's social studies. - Day covered. In there was also art and PE because she rode her bike.

Tuesday: She wanted to learn more about sewing and making patterns. She looked up a video on YouTube. I helped her with search words and how to spell. That's keyboarding. She learned how to measure her doll to make the right clothing size. She wrote it down. That's math and English in one. We picked persimmons from our tree and used my grandfather's food mill to make pulp and then made it into fruit leather, which we ate 6 hours later. That is social studies as we discussed her great grandpa and the world he lived in as well as science since we discussed how the slow process of dehydrating won't destroy the nutrients in the fruit leather. Again...a whole day of learning. She also built a fort and did Looney Tunes Phonics while in the tent, 4 lesson worth, because learning in a tent is so much more fun than on the couch. Oh, and we also went to the park for 3 hours and to the library for her American Girl Doll History Class and grocery shopping (see above). 

There is learning in everything. Today, we pick up our puppy from being neutered yesterday. We will discuss the science behind that. We are also planning on watching some documentaries on dinosaurs and writing her own fairy tale story smashing the characters and story lines together to come up with a  new one. She writes her plans out every day on a white board so she can help herself focus. Did I mention that is exercising her frontal lobe section of her brain, teaching her Executive Functioning skills? That's important. Teaching time management and planning is crucial in life. We use that every day as adults. 

As you can see, there is learning happening. It is focused on her interest in the moment. 

I used to think learning only happened in books, on worksheets and by those "in the know" because that is what I was taught. Then, I began to question that. Who knows my child better than me? No one. Who else has their best interest at heart? No one. Do the teachers care who they become as a person? I don't know. I like to say yes, but they are so over worked and over stressed they may or may not. The point is, I began to question and by questioning my thoughts, I began to see they weren't true nor were they my thoughts. 

So, Reader, for the rest of the week, ask yourself this one question: 

What in my life does not need to be the way I think it should be?

Write it down. For my friend above, it is preparing dinner. Then, write down what solutions you come up with. At the end of the week, review them. See what you can implement in your life. See how your life changes.